Parent Defaults

Most parenting advice is overwhelming because there's too much of it. This is the opposite: one recommendation per topic. Just the books and gear that worked for us, backed by evidence where it exists. No listicles, no 20 options.

Start here: the three we recommend most

Sleep

Sleep

Sleep deprivation makes every other parenting problem harder, so this is the highest-leverage thing to fix. The challenge isn't finding a sleep-training method. It's picking one and sticking with it.

Our pick

Precious Little Sleep

Covers the full range of methods, from gentle to cry-it-out, and helps you choose the one that fits your kid and your tolerance. The most useful thing we read on the topic.

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Unsure about sleep training itself? The evidence is reassuring: it works, and it doesn't cause lasting harm.

The gear that actually helped

Potty Training

Potty Training

The hardest part of potty training is deciding when to start, and the data says the later you start, the faster it goes. Kids who start around 3 are typically done in under two weeks.

Our pick

Oh Crap! Potty Training

The method we used. It's sold as a long weekend, but expect it to take longer. The framework is solid even if the writing meanders. Give it a few months before you judge how it's going.

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Worried you've waited too long? The data says you haven't. There's no magic window you're going to miss.

The gear that actually helped

Screens

The evidence on screens is mixed, and probably not as alarming as the discourse suggests. Our approach is to be intentional without being rigid: sometimes screens buy you 20 minutes to cook dinner, and that's fine. There's no gadget to buy here.

Worth reading

Cribsheet

If you want the actual data on screen time, along with every other 0–3 flashpoint, Emily Oster's Cribsheet has the clearest treatment we've found.

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Further Reading

A lot of the perspective on this page is informed by ParentData, Emily Oster's data-driven parenting resource. If you want to go deeper on any topic, these two cut through the noise with actual data:

For ages 0–3

Cribsheet

Sleep, feeding, screens, daycare: what the data actually says about the decisions everyone has opinions on.

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If you're still expecting

Expecting Better

The pregnancy book we recommend to everyone. It separates the rules with evidence behind them from the ones without.

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