Parent Defaults

Most parenting advice is overwhelming because there's too much of it. This is the opposite: one recommendation per topic, based on what worked for us. Sometimes that's a book, sometimes a chart or an article, sometimes a gadget.

We try to follow the evidence where it's clear and be honest where it isn't. None of this will fit every family, but it's a reasonable place to start.

Sleep

Sleep

If you’re unsure about sleep training, the evidence is reassuring: it works and it doesn’t cause lasting harm. The bigger challenge is picking one approach and sticking with it.

Precious Little Sleep covers the full range of methods and helps you choose. It’s the most useful thing we read on the topic.

Gear that helped

Potty Training

Potty Training

The hardest part of potty training is deciding when to start. The data says the later you start, the faster it goes. Kids who start around 3 are typically done in under two weeks. There's no magic window you're going to miss.

Oh Crap! Potty Training is the method we used. The book makes it sound like a long weekend, but expect it to take longer than that. The framework is solid even if the writing meanders. Give it a few months before you judge how it's going.

Gear that helped

Screens

The evidence on screens is mixed, and probably not as alarming as the discourse suggests. Some of the pressure to limit screen time is genuine concern, some is virtue signaling. Real correlations exist, but so does a lot of noise.

We don't have a book or a method to recommend here. Our approach is to be intentional without being rigid. Sometimes screens buy you 20 minutes to cook dinner, and that's fine.

Further Reading

A lot of the perspective on this page is informed by ParentData, Emily Oster's data-driven parenting resource. If you want to go deeper on any topic here, start with Cribsheet for early childhood and Expecting Better if you're still expecting. Both cut through the noise with actual data.